No More Fat Bible Thumper
A friend who recently lost weight and got a make-over asked me if I felt noticed when I had gone through a similar transformation. She also wanted to know if people’s complements made me feel uncomfortable. I was surprised at how long it took me to formulate an answer to those questions.
First, if you don’t know me or haven’t known me for long, then you are probably unaware that I struggled with weight issues for most of my youth and young adult life. When I was in middle school and high school, the popular kids called me the fat-Bible-thumper. A title I was happy to dispel by throwing out my Bible, any sign of my religion and going on a starvation diet to lose the weight and gain the approval of man over God.
But what I found was exactly what my friend described. I was uncomfortable with the attention I got. So when my friend asked me those questions, I had to ask myself why. I thought about why I ate (always a good place to start.) I came to the conclusion that I ate to comfort myself and find a place of security in the loneliness and the worthlessness that engulfed me.
When the comfort and security of food was gone, all that was left was the insecurity, the loneliness, and the worthlessness that I felt and believed about myself. When people noticed me, it was very uncomfortable for me because I was afraid they would eventually realize that I was a fake. The outside of Angela had changed but the inside of Angela was still the same.
It wasn’t until I re-dedicated my life to Christ, and took the time to find out who He was, and who I was, that my identity changed and then the opinion of others didn’t matter anymore.
Now, I have a different view of what it means to be thin. I believe in being healthy. If you are a Christ follower, be healthy because the King has chosen you to take up residence in you. The physical Temple in Jerusalem is gone, YOU are it! Think about it, there was no expense spared when building the original Temple that housed the holy of Holies and there was no expense spared when it came to God choosing you for a great purpose and a future! If you are a person of a different belief, I have to say the same applies. God created the word and all that is in it, so that you would know Him and how special you are (Acts 17:27-28). That is a BEAUTIFUL thing! Go for it! Get to know who God created you to be and start being healthy today. One step at a time you can shed the old you and start new. I am with you!
thanks angela needed this today. feeling the pain of this today : When the comfort and security of food was gone, all that was left was the insecurity, the loneliness, and the worthlessness that I felt and believed about myself. When people noticed me, it was very uncomfortable for me because I was afraid they would eventually realize that I was a fake. The outside of Angela had changed but the inside of Angela was still the same.
I totally understand Nicole. You are a BEAUTIFUL woman and I am cheering you on and praying for you today! Many others will be comforted by your words of understanding. Thank you for sharing.
mostly feeling the pain of not having the comfort of food