How I Became a Helicopter Mom
My life and actions as a mom all became clear to me as I read the book, Strategic Organizational Communication in a Global Economy. Your first question is probably: What normal person reads a book with that boring of a title. Giving it more thought, I am sure you are pondering how I could ever discover anything about motherhood from such a book.
I am reading the book for my master’s program. And In short, the book is teaches me how to analyzing people’s communication styles to understand how members of an organization come together to make an organization function and achieve its goals.
If you think about families, they are like mini organizations. Most families have a mission statement, values, and goals. Some are written, but most are unwritten. The family organization is energized, directed or deflated on a daily basis by each member’s perception or personal understanding of the mission, values, and goals. Each member forms their opinion, and ultimately, their responses out of their childhood, past experiences, present understanding of reality, and their place in the social structure of the family organization.
In my school book, it defined the sociological categories of generations such as: Builder, Boomer, Gen X, Y, & Z. Here is a list of characteristics for your own entertainment. This helps us understand family dynamics in a way never achieved before.
Personally, I am in the category of Gen X. The book described me as: growing up in a two-career family, where divorce rates increased and the word, “latchkey kid” was coined. Gen Xers were also a product of television, technology and down-sizing. All of these experiences lead Gen Xers to mis-trust organizations, be incredibly self-reliant (make great leaders and entrepreneur) and shy away from close personal relationships.
In many cases, the separation that many Gen Xers experienced physically or emotionally from their parents lead them to have the opposite response with own children. Gen X parents hold tightly onto relationships that are closest, most precious, and trust worthy to them.
What encourages a Mom to helicopter?
Her need to maintain trusting relationships. Her need for control. Her need to overcome the fear of abandonment and loss of relationship.
I admit it, I am that mom. I believe that if I hover in protection over who I love, our relationships will never fail, my children will grow up with a confidence I never had, and they will see a future that will change the world.
But there is a different truth if you know God. Job 12:10 (ESV) says, “In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.” The lives of my children are not my own. They are God’s children. I am only the steward of their lives while I am on this earth. For me to control, fret, over plan, and attempt to make every strategic move of my child’s life as if we were in a chess tournament is only declaring my mis-trust in the God that I love. For it was He who knew every hair on their head before they were born, and it is He who has the perfect plan and purpose for their individual lives (Jeremiah 29:11).
I know that God is asking me to Heli-drop my children into His faithful and loving arms, because that is where they will truly learn to fly! Are you willing to take the flight with me?
This is so shouting at me today. I am GenX. I was the product of two divorces. I know that impacted my self-image growing up and relationship choices. I do see how I hover over my children and now why! I am now taking this to prayer. I thank the Lord for using you to bring this to light this morning.