Tuesday Talk…How do I put God above my spouse and children?

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Tuesday Talk is about YOU…

Every Tuesday we engage in one big question, topic or idea. You are invited to write in with a suggestion you want to share. I surely do not have all the answers but know that together we can generate some great conversation and have fun in the process. (Feel free to post your topics, questions, and your great thoughts in the comments below!) Together, we will stay informed and equipped about topics that matter!

Tuesday Talk Question – How do you put God above your spouse and children?

Contributing to our conversation this week are four women from our NW Network: Angela Howard, Charity Rattray, and Katie Rogers and me, Angela Craig your Tuesday Talk hostess. Their collective perspective will inspire you and give you tangible ideas for being the wife and mother God desire you to be! ENJOY!

Tuesday Talk Contributor: Angela Howard

The first step is knowing that you can’t give what you haven’t received.  We can try to do great things on our own but they will ultimately fall flat–especially with those closest to us–if we haven’t filled up our souls with our intensely personal relationship with God.  The second is realizing that we need to surrender our own agenda for our children and spouses and ask God draw them by His Holy Spirit into a vibrant and heart transforming relationship.  Lastly, is listening for the Holy Spirit when we are in those crucial conversations when we could say a lot (I like lecturing–just being honest!) and silence or a short response is best.  It’s all about surrendering control to our loving Savior who longs to have first place in our hearts.

Angela

Tuesday Talk Contributor: Charity Rattray

 “When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving toward the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.”

By CS Lewis

Without dwelling in the unconditional love of God, how can I fully give it away to those who will need my capacity to love the most?

I know my ability, because living together day in and day out, through the trials and the triumphs I often fall short.  God has a way, of making life work for the good for my family beyond this busy mom’s reach.

An example last month- I was finishing up the details of distributing the free-will offering after our last City Wide Worship when the woman I needed to run the monies to was substitute teaching at 1 of the local 3 elementary schools in our area. I wanted to take the day off, my oldest was graduating high school and his celebration was just days away.  I walked into the office to drop the check off with many “to dos” running through my mind.  Justus my senior had attended this elementary years ago.  I was looking around for the receptionist and in walks his 5th grade teacher.  She looked at me and with a light bulb of recognition she exclaimed “Wait here, I have your son’s letter from his 5th grade self.”  I didn’t even know this existed and our family had moved out of the school district recently and they wouldn’t have had my current address on hand.  That day I had literally perfect timing as she was mailing out the letters.  God was assisting and blessing me in my “put Him first errands.” With the envelope in hand I left the school, realizing how when I love God, He really does take care of my loved ones even better than I could!

It’s a short story, but it serves the point, by loving God and saying yes to His plan- our family is covered, blessed, and graced.

Charity

Tuesday Talk Contributor: Katie Rogers

Good morning friends! As a single women, I have been pondering over the question you posed all week. Since I have no experience in this area, I decided to ask some smart and married women of God for their feedback.

The answer from many was they start with quiet time before the household gets up. They seek God before they are required to do the tasks of the day. This gives them their focus, allows God to give them wisdom on how to go about their day. It opens them up to be sensitive to the Spirit as they pursue serving those they’ve been given the opportunity to serve.

Many spoke of making sure they take the Sabbath seriously. Giving them time to rest in the Lord, gaining perspective on God’s plans. They understand if they don’t put God first they won’t be all they were created to be and they won’t be all they can be to their families.

Katie

Tuesday Talk Contributor: Angela Craig

I remember the first time I heard someone say that I should put God before my husband and my children. I was a new Christian and I honestly thought they were crazy. As I thought about what it might mean to love God more than my family, I felt like a traitor. Did that mean I should spend more time with God than I did with my family? Should I serve more at church? Should I tell my husband and children, “Hey, just want to let you know. God is #1 and you are #2!”

Non of those things that I thought up in my mind were true. What I know now, sixteen years later in marriage with two teenage son’s is that this was not only good advice, but it was also biblical advice as well.

The question for me changed from “How do I put God before my husband and my children?” to questions like: “Where is my heart?” “What does my soul yearn for?” “Where do I get filled up?” “Who do I expect to fulfill all my needs?”

Ultimately, God is the only one who can meet all my expectations and fill my heart with love and joy. It is Him who provides me with the fruit of the Spirit to be the wife and mom He desires me to be and my family deserves.  These are not roles which my husband or children can fulfill in my life.

If  all my time and energy in invested in my husband and children, then that is were my expectation will lie. I must free them from this responsibility that is ultimately Gods.

In closing, I would like to leave you with this quote about love and marriage. I hope that you are inspired by our Tuesday Talk conversation today!

“It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God. Without God people only succeed in bringing out the worst in one another. Lovers who have nothing else to do but love each other soon find there is nothing else. Without a central loyalty life is unfinished.”Fulton J. Sheen, Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana and Calvary    

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3 Comments on “Tuesday Talk…How do I put God above my spouse and children?

  1. I love the commentd today! I was reminded of two things
    One is we can be of no earthly good if we ate not keeping Christ centered! He needs to take that first place not only in our hearts. But in our day! The second thing is have some ladies at your church to be your m

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  2. What great answers. I am so blessed to have such great women of God in my life. Thank you for your openness and honesty.

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  3. My second post did not show up so I will post again!
    Find a mentor at your church. Find someone who has raised their kids and have lived through what you are facing. Women you have raised their kids have a lot of wisdom to share! If you don’t have a mother who is close or a sister, or choose to have another Christian influence in your life look for a women in your church. They no bigonly taught me about my children but how to make God a priority so I could be the best Christian mom I could be!

    Best of all, they prayed for me every day! I was able to share my frustrations and they would pray for me. I wouldn’t have been successful without these two wonderful ladies. Rest in Peace Trudy and Magda! You two have been the

    Titus 2 talks about the older women teaching the younger women. I found this to be true in my own life. Of course God is the giver of all things just don’t over look some awesome Christian who can help you in this journey!

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