How do you know someone loves you when you don’t speak the same language?

intentional loveHave you ever wondered why you feel you are not speaking the same language as your spouse, your child, or a colleague at work?

If you have ever taken the 5 love languages test, you might discover that you and the people you love do not speak the same love languages. My husband’s first love language is receiving gifts, mine is words of affirmation. To make things more interesting, my husband’s number 5 love language is words of affirmation and mine is receiving gifts. For both of us, what is most important to the other person is last on our list of priorities. The interesting fact is, most people in relationship find themselves in this same situation – opposites attract!

Here are 3 simple steps you can take to find love when you don’t speak the same language:

  1. Take the 5 love language test as a couple, a family or a work team and discuss the results to deepen your understanding for what each individual needs to feel loved or appreciated.

gift giving

  1. People will give love the way they want to be loved. My husband is an amazing gift giver (see picture of roses). He shows his love, affection, and affirmation for me through gifts. Just because it doesn’t come naturally for my husband to affirm me with words, doesn’t mean he does not love me or recognize my worth. His gifts speak volumes if I choose to listen.
  1. Practice intentional giving. Give gifts that are outside your comfort zone. Maybe you don’t see yourself as a good gift giver or affirmer. Find someone who an expert in the love language you lack and copy them! Or simply ask the person you love or are working with to give you examples of meaningful ways to express their #1 love language. Your acts of intentionality will show love and appreciation in ways you can’t imagine!

Take these 3 simple steps and you will be surprised to find love and appreciation in unexpected places!

I would love to hear your thoughts on How do you know someone loves you when you don’t speak the same language, please don’t hesitate to share your stories or comments below.

If you found this blog helpful or encouraging, it would be the greatest complement to me if you shared this blog on your social networks. Thank you for helping build our community!


In Life and Leadership,




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